We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
