soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
