we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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