It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
