I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
