I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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