I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
