do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
