hotel room ftw
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
