In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
