it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
