Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
