Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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