the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
