I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
