Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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