its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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