At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize