The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
