i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
