five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
