hotel room ftw
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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