dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
