YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
