He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
