and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
