Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
