He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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