I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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