she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
