Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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