i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize