You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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