Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
