I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
