lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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