Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
