Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
