That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
