escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
