i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
