He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
