small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
