Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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