i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
