I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
