That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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