That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
