That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
