Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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