Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
