Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
