just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
