The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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