And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
