what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
being pregnant is like rehab
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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