I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
